I can't.

Hi, again. Well the last post is for you guys and this one is for mine. Can you believe it? I mean, my year is next year, UPSR. I cant accept the fact that I'm gonna seat for Upsr next year. How fast, 2011 is just 1 month until its over. The truth is, I want to turn back time to 2010. Best year ever, maybe? My school had already planned the tuition and all. Seriously I feel like I wanna die ~.~, and this year... I only went to Mssm for tennis competitions. This is so not me, I mean, last year, I only missed one competition.

 And, now, I've decided to not play tennis anymore. I cried. I cried. I cried. Like a bitch ^~^. Why? Because I've play tennis for about 6 years? Yeah its sad. And I cant meet my friends anymore. They're my true friends. And I cant meet Nurin and Putri anymore :/. Its a one hell of a decision. I can't be bitchy anymore(hehe). But the great thing is, when I said to Yo I quit playing tennis, he said he'll miss me and all. I know right, the guy who always bully me haha and hearts; Four word : I love them :')

 And by that I knew, we need changes in life. No matter how much we love them. Like death. I've always wanted to die when my mum scolded me. But when I read Aida's post, I'll never do that again.

 Hope you guys have a great happy year. God bless xx.

That one post.

Hi guys. Sorry for not posting for so long, but can you guys help me by reading this post? It will be worth it.  My friend Aida, wrote this on her blog and asked me to post it as well. Aida's mom's friend came to her house last night and she brought her mother too. They had dinner and Aida's mom and her friend left Aida and the old lady alone at the dinner table. All fo sudden, the old lady started a conversation. Guys, read well if you love your mother :) :

"Aida sayang , you know if someone checks on you, and cares about you, that person truly loves you. That person wouldn't want you to go . That person loves you more than anything you can imagine"

I probably know what you're thinking about right now. I thought the same too. She keeps on talking, I soon realize she was talking about my mother. She's been observing me. I mean she observes the way I react whenever my mother scolds me or something. What I do is I roll my eyes and probably whisper some swear words behind my mom. Then that old lady told me this ...

"... I know you wont understand this, but you'll get it when you're a little bit older. You'll understand what your mother has to go through to raise you and how she feels when you disappoint her..."

I didn't say a word. Then she begins to speak again ,

"My mother passed away on 1984 . When she left, I felt half of me is gone as well. Once a person returns to Allah , they'll never come back. I felt numb. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I couldn't stop thinking about her since then. I felt really sorry. I've disappoint her countless times. By that I know it's too late to apologize to her. She died on 1984 Aida, can you count how long that has been?"

I answered 27 years.

"27 years is a really long time. But she still lives in me forever. I could still remember her. She's fresh in my mind. I've met many great people in 27 years. But non of them could replace my mother. She's irreplaceable . "

I kept quiet and she kept on talking.

"My mother punished me many times. I used to hate that about her. But when I got married , had children , I finally understand what she was going through . How much pain she had sacrifice . Giving birth isn't an easy thing to do. It's something between life and death. If you don't survive, you die . If you made it through alive , Alhamdulillah. During pregnancy , it's 9 months of hell. You get sick a lot. And whatever you eat , goes to the baby. "

She was exaggerating a lot. But I'm kinda interested to know more.

"I was my father's favorite child. I never knew why. He passed a way at 1994. 10 years after my mother passed away. I wasn't as sad as when my mother left though I was so close to him. "

Then she mentions about religion case.

"According to Rasulullah , we must respect our mother 3 times than our father. But that doesn't mean you must disobey your father. Islam has 2 life guides . The Al-Quran and the Hadis. I studied our kitab . I learnt all about this."

I look down. Trying to hold my tears. Yes. I felt like crying. She got up. Headed to the sink and cleaned her hands. Then she spoke again ,

"You may not know me . You may just see me as your mother's friend's mom. I'm new to your life and you're new to mine. My life isn't long. I'm old, weak. I could be taking my last breath any second now. But I want you to remember this forever. What I told you tonight comes straight from my heart. I'm being honest. Be thankful of your family. You're a lovely girl remember that."

Then Auntie Shereena came. And she interrupted ,

"Right now I need her more than she needs me"

If you were there you'd know. Auntie Shereena's mother was weak and old. She needs walking support. Every part of her body was aching all the time. And Auntie Shereena comes over and told me that she needs her mother more than her mother needs her ? That's something to learn from.

They had to go home. It was late. My mom walked them outside. I said nothing and ran up to my room.

My point is be thankful for what you have. I can't even remember the last time I told my mom that I love her. Seriously. It's always odd. Like the phrase 'syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu' doesn't that explains everything ? In my opinion you should bookmark this blog post/ page or whatever. So whenever you lost love in your mother, I want you to take your time and read this all over again. I'm sorry if I had wasted your time. I needed to blog about this. A random old lady who recently came to my life and changed it. From now on , she'll be in my prayers. Only god knows how wonderful she is. I hope she'll live longer.